YUMINNNN

iihateeeuuuuuuu

Spot your own OMG part of my msn contacts list.


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I.Am.Just.So.Upset.
Why, you may wish to ask.
'Cos i'm in a dilemma. Let me type out all my feelings here so i can broadcast it all out for you (lovelies, freaks, whatever) to see.

I got quite a remarkable score for the so-called major Olevels.
So well, good.. no?

Then. I'm so expected to go to a college. Why? 'Cos a college :
"Shorter years (2years ; poly 3years)" (I beg to differ btw. Shall state l8r.)
"Nurture better people..." ? (Hell no, again.)
"Can almost ensure you'd definitely go to a fucking uni in singapore" (NO, again.)

Many more, lah. If you wanna know all of those reasons WHY I AM EXPECTED TO BE STUDYING IN A COLLEGE, ask my parents.
My parents who should be sooooooo supportive of me &think of me as OLD ENOUGH to decide for my own fucking future!
What if,
I retain in college (many cases heard, alright)
I can't handle the stress &do bad but maybe miraculously pass (I want to steer off stress. I'm not saying poly = no stress. But college = study study study. Yes?)

Reasons why i dont freakin' want to step into a college :
Number1 : I darn well am not gonna go to a so-called good college because i don't want to be an even more stucked up bitch than i already am (or so, YOU think)
&That means 10+ colleges are out.
Which = very little choices (like 1?)
Number2 : Stress. Yes, that.
Number3 : I don't wanna take chinese, again. (Miraculously {sorry i have been using this a lot} i've gotten a B for chinese but you know when you grow to hate chinese {4years, mind you}, you stay hating/detesting chinese)
Number4 : I am AFRAAAAAAID. Of? Retaining. Not being able to handle &having to drop out.
Number5 : Er, i think i dont have a number5 now but ya..

Don't fucking ask me WHERE ARE YOU GOING or HAVE YOU DECIDED or DONT GO POLY or WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO or HOW HOW HOW i will freakin' smash your ass.
Firstly all your fucking questions are gonna put me in more stress than i already am havin'.
Alright. Mum = all for college.
Dad = at least able to understand a lil &sit down &talk to be about to different courses.

I said i need support right? Where is the support I AM SUPPOSED TO GET? I find myself breaking down everytime we come to that topic of the next thing i'm GONNA DO. I feel more stress than i have ever in my 10years of school.
You wouldn't read this but I REALLY NEED SUPPORT.
Regardless of where i wish to go, what i wish to pursue. Just, please support me wouldnt'cha? I promise i'll do it well.

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I'm not all out for poly, actually. But i'm not all out for jc either. Whats holding me back?
Let's see, everything.

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My friends.. are gonna just pooof .. go. We're gonna walk different paths (sorry drama, i cant help it) get on with different lives find different friends adopt different lifestyle &all.

I don't want to see a close friend &feel so distant because we're in different schools/courses or.. just, different.
I don't wanna go to a close friend &swallow my pain &ask Hey, how're you?


I don't want to do all that.
But darn it, i have to.
Fuck studies.

Not even southpark would cheer me up now.

posted by yumin :D @ 8:40 PM